How nice to find myself at the front of The Spectator rather than the back, where I make occasional appearances, albeit under a pseudonym, next to the crossword. I love these quirky, waste-of-time competitions, which at £25 for 150 words must make the contributors pro rata among the highest paid in the magazine. It’s a shame, though, that the same four or five people seem to win all the time. What else do they do with their lives apart from construct haikus about literary figures or short stories without using the letter ‘e’? Who are Basil Ransome-Davis, Noel Petty and Bill Greenwell? I have a feeling I was reading their entries in Punch when I was about eight years old. ‘Not by hatred are they led, their problem is a dearth of thread…’ Almost 50 years later, I can’t get that line out of my head. It’s a poem one of them contributed — made up of anagrams.
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Off to ITV to discuss a new series which will hopefully be transmitted in 2013. ITV now make most of the best drama on television — but the advertising breaks are going mad. After 12 minutes of action, I’m forced to bring matters to a sudden full stop. Then there’s a reminder of the programme’s sponsor, Aviva or whoever, a half a dozen ads (with the volume turned up) and a brief visit to Coronation Street or whatever else is coming soon. Aviva pops back again with a miniature drama about ‘life’s little accidents’ and a reminder that they sponsored the show. What sort of emotional involvement, what suspense, what vague connection with the story can possibly have survived all this? I remember when ITV moved News at Ten, politicians got very angry and excited. But when extra advertising breaks were brought in, turning us overnight into American TV, there wasn’t a whimper.
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