It’s not easy working out what to give Lord Lloyd-Webber for his 60th birthday. I mean he’s got a few bob, hasn’t he? Three ties and a shoehorn seem a bit inadequate. Particularly as his lordship flew 46 friends to Deià, a spectacularly beautiful village in Mallorca, for a weekend celebration. I decided on something really useful. A gold bus pass. So I telephoned Ruth Kelly, Secretary of State for Transport, and spoke to her principal private secretary, Anne Snelgrove. The dialogue went like this.
MW: Tell me darling, do you think we could ask Ruth if I could have a gold bus pass for Andrew Lloyd Webber?
Anne: Why would you want to give Andrew Lloyd Webber a gold bus pass?
MW: Well, it’s his birthday, it would be a bit different.
Anne: Is it on the first of April? [Bit of humour there, perhaps!]
MW: It’s this coming weekend.
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