Diary – 27 May 2005

An actor friend and I were worried that we were not being good male role models to our sons, of which we have three apiece. It was all very well taking them around National Trust properties, teaching them chess and explaining to them the difference between native and Pacific oysters, but what they needed were fathers who took them to football matches — especially the eldest, who are now pushing eight. As my friend lives in Chelsea, we decided Stamford Bridge would be the place. ‘Do you just turn up?’ he asked. ‘I’m pretty sure you have to book,’ I replied. ‘Right. I’ll get on to it,’ he said. ‘This Saturday?’ ‘Yes, this Saturday.’ We steeled ourselves to the prospect of having to chant on terraces and drink lager from cans. Then my friend rang back and, sounding rather sheepish, said, ‘Um, apparently the football season ended last Saturday.’

My day job is writing interviews for the Sunday Telegraph and top of my wish list of subjects at the moment is the governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger.