Diane’s grey matter and Labour’s sticky votes

I awoke the other morning to hear Diane Abbott’s brains leaking out of her ears and all over the carpet during an interview with LBC’s excellent Nick Ferrari. You will need a mop and a bucket very sharpish, I thought to myself, as she gabbled on, the hole beneath her feet growing larger with every syllable she uttered. Diane has had the brain leakage problem before, many times, and my worry is that following the LBC debacle there is almost nothing left inside her skull at all, just a thin greyish residue resembling a kind of fungi or leaf mould. This would leave her on an intellectual par with Emily Thornberry, a disaster for Labour. Later Diane explained that she had ‘misspoken’ during the interview — but how were we to know? She seems to misspeak in perpetuity. How are we to distinguish between the meant idiocies and the accidental idiocies?

Later, listening to the news, I learned that the Conservative lead in the polls had been cut quite sharply, with Labour experiencing a genuine priapism. I have mentioned here many times before that Labour’s vote is rather more ‘sticky’, as the pollsters put it, than anybody else expects or indeed the party deserves. They will not be wiped out, glorious though such an eventuality might be. But I had not expected people to actually change their minds in favour of Labour — that thought never really occurred.

I wonder sometimes if the electorate is taking the piss a bit? They hear Diane or some other floundering ESN Labour trog on the radio and think to themselves: how funny would it be if these clowns actually won? At least it would give us a good laugh. That’s a possibility. Or perhaps people have decided to vote Labour because George Monbiot told them to in the Guardian.