Dear Mary: Will sharing a bed ruin our friendship?

Q. I am a 29-year-old gay man. About four months ago I met a man at least 30 years older than me. We have become very good friends with many shared interests. I am certain that my friend (let’s call him ‘Tom’) has enjoyed the friendship as much as I have. It has been entirely platonic, even in situations where ‘something’ might have happened. We have often discussed making a trip to Paris (in particular to go to the opera). We had a very straightforward conversation about the cost of the trip and it is clear that I am to be his guest in April, for when the trip is booked. Last week Tom told me that the hotel he had carefully chosen (no doubt a lovely place to stay) cannot provide twin beds in its rooms. He has asked if I am happy to share a ‘very large bed’.