Dear Mary: Why does my feminist friend always expect me to pay for dinner?

Q. One of my very best female friends has got into the habit of lecturing me on gender equality, in a manner that sometimes borders on aggressive. Now, I identify as a feminist man, and understand the need for healthy debate. However, her hypocrisy is irksome and hard to overlook (I’m still expected to buy drinks, dinner etc, even in a platonic relationship). This is coupled with the fact that she consistently reports back to having not offered to pay when out with male suitors. Any advice on how to breach the topic? Not least to save my wallet…
— E.C., London

A. Confide your confusion to another female (not known to the one you write about). Ask her to help you solve the mystery once and for all. She will need to identify as a feminist, at least for an evening. Let’s call your very close friend ‘Feminist One’ and the helper ‘Feminist Two’.