Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: What’s the etiquette of loo-flushing for overnight guests?

iStock 
issue 24 April 2021

Q. My husband and I have started receiving invitations to large summer events scheduled for after 21 June. We have been shielding for the past year and, although happy to meet up with small groups of friends out of doors, for the time being we are fearful to commit to indoor unventilated parties. Obviously our hosts require responses to these kind invitations, but we don’t know how to refuse without being thought of as ‘wimps’. Mary, can you help?
— P.Z., London SW7

A. There is no need to supply a reason for a party refusal. Indeed traditional etiquette decrees that you should not. You need only say you will be unable to attend. Your hosts will be far too busy planning their parties to bother challenging you for an explanation.

Q. My club, with a wonderful lawn facing the Thames, reopened on 12 April.

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