Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: What would Mrs Fulford like for Christmas?

From Francis Fulford

Q. Have you any suggestions for what to give my wife for Christmas? She doesn’t want anything practical and was deeply unamused when I gave her a ‘top-of-the-range’ Barbour tweed coat some years ago. So obvious things like gardening forks, dog leads etc are out of the question. My children have suggested that she would like a 50” colour TV from Argos (currently a ‘bargain’ at £299) but I am not convinced and don’t want to have her suffer a major sense of humour failure when she unwraps it in front of all our Christmas guests.

A. What do women want? You need look no further than the answer given in ‘The Wife of Bath’s Tale’, which rings true even today. Women want to be in charge of their husbands and lovers. Therefore you may simply present your wife with 12 privately printed vouchers to be redeemed on a monthly basis throughout 2015.

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