Q. I recently joined our gardener during his tea break and asked: ‘What news? He replied: ‘We went to see Dad in his coffin yesterday – he looked very smart in his suit. It is amazing what they can do these days.’ I was quite unable to think of a suitable response – and still cannot. Any thoughts, Mary?
— R.H., Cheltenham
A. One good all-purpose response in these situations is to nod and murmur: ‘So they say… So they say…’
Q. I am a moderately successful journalist and sometimes friends ask me to help their children enter the trade. The problem is: after initial contact, usually by text or email, the children do not bother to follow up and I am left waiting by the telephone with a reading list. How do I tell my friends that if their children cannot make a telephone call to a friendly contact at an agreed time, journalism is probably not for them?
— Name and address withheld
A.
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