Q. My son has a girlfriend who we like but who has appalling table manners. They come to stay most weekends and I really find it painful to sit at a table with her and cannot understand how my son can put up with it. What would you advise, Mary?
— Name and address withheld
A. Next time they come to dinner, invite the family of a small child to eat with you and conspire with the parents to keep telling the child off for speaking with its mouth full, leaning on the table or any other infractions. In this way, you can give a proxy lecture on how his or her future will be predicated on the quality of her table manners. Meanwhile your son’s girlfriend will be invited to take part in the discussion and give her own views. It will also be a useful lesson for the child, who will not quickly forget the proper code of etiquette.
Q. We have an adorable friend who is in her late eighties, astute, amusing and regal in manner, who still takes pleasure in speaking Italian, which she learnt as a girl. In restaurants, she engages Italian waiters in intense and expressive conversations for minutes on end. Other talk at the table stalls. Food gets cold, as the waiters are halted in their tracks by her commanding air and don’t finish laying the plates. Head waiters grow infuriated with their underlings. She is oblivious to the exasperation. What can be done?
— R.D.H., London SW3
A. The impressive skill of fluency in another language, sadly in decline, is being squandered in London. Why not encourage a trip to Florence, where she can use it freely? As for solutions closer to home, stick to Middle Eastern or Asian restaurants and you should avoid the annoyance.
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