Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: Should I thrust my backside at other people in the theatre?

Plus: Dulux is the new Farrow & Ball; the best ringtone for church

issue 02 November 2013

Q. I am no interior decorator, but we have a couple of rather subtle paint colours in the house that I picked out of a Dulux colour sheet and they have both been a success. I would be grateful if you could suggest a slight put-down to those visitors who ask which Farrow and Ball paint I have used.
— Name and address withheld

A. A put-down would be inappropriate in the current climate. You clearly do not realise that, all over Notting Hill, billionaire women are triumphantly shrieking ‘Zara!’ and ‘Top Shop!’ when asked where their winter coats are from. Inconspicuous consumption is the new black and boasting about cost-cutting the new oneupmanship. 

Q. A small matter, but one I would like your advice on. When you have mid-row seats in the theatre, and people are half-standing to let you through, should you face them or turn your back? The former can seem a bit intimate, the latter can seem rude as they are getting your backside thrust at them.

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