Q. I see a lot of two of our grandchildren because they live in our London house. We are centrally located so we see a lot of their friends, too. Our grand-children are well-mannered but conversation is always stalling because of their refusal to allow me to use shorthand to identify the friend being discussed e.g. ‘the fat one’. I do not intend to offend — they’re just shortcuts that people of my age group (70+) use when we can’t remember anyone’s name, let alone the names of our grandchildren’s friends. If I have to ask, for example, ‘Was Eric the boy in the Star Wars hoodie who ate crumpets last Tuesday?’ — rather than ‘Is Eric the fat boy?’ — dialogue becomes clunky. How can we break this impasse?
— Name withheld, London W11
A. Why not turn the tables by saying: ‘I can’t picture Eric. What does he look like?’ They’ll soon tire of giving drawn-out descriptions and take shortcuts themselves.
Q. Twenty years ago, I moved from London to a European city much loved by tourists and where I work as a house-letting agent. Because old friends know I do this, they assume I will be delighted to help their child on his or her gap year who is visiting the city. I wouldn’t mind if it was just old friends’ children but it is more often the child of vague acquaintances who contact me asking for advice about the city. None of these want to rent one of the (high end) properties for which I’m responsible — instead they require highly detailed bespoke advice on hotels, transport, restaurants, exhibitions etc. I don’t want to be rude or unfriendly but I simply don’t have time to compile bespoke itineraries two or three times a week.
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