Q. I have been offered a cottage, at minimal rent, on the estate of a friend of a friend who had got wind of my current unsatisfactory domestic arrangements. I am supposed to move in shortly but now I have looked more closely at the picturesque dwelling I find it is blighted by the typically low ceilings which characterise estate workers’ cottages. It is something that I — and our mutual friend — should have thought of.
I am 6ft 6in and banging my head on beams is likely to be a major problem. How can I tactfully withdraw without making a fool of myself over the intemperance of my gushing acceptance when the offer was made — and particularly without upsetting my would-be benefactor?
— Name and address withheld
A. You should not allow mental inflexibility to cheat you of such an opportunity. Simply wear a motorcycle crash helmet until you have familiarised yourself with the likely injury points. No harm if your benefactor drops in and finds you in the helmet. It will help you to ‘level up’.
Q. My grandmother, aged 90, has an enormous black labrador named Zulu, a popular name among dog-owners of her generation. I have taken Zulu on until the spring but she is very badly trained and will not heed my commands. It sometimes does not go down well when other walkers hear me repeatedly shouting her name. Some of my contemporaries feel strongly that she should be renamed, but as she is 13 years old it is too late to do so. Any suggestions, Mary?
— A.H., Woodborough, Wilts
A. Just rename her ‘Sulu’. The dog won’t notice the difference and you can, truthfully, explain to critics that Sulu is a particularly beautiful part of the Borneo archipelago.
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