Q. My girlfriend and I have started using a personal trainer for some joint sessions at our local gym; the sessions are generally very good and we are really enjoying them. The issue is that the trainer spends quite a lot of the time on his mobile phone and it often distracts him from what he is meant to be teaching us. Sometimes we have to ask him what we are doing next while he is scrolling on his device. We are paying a lot and expect a better service, but I find it awkward saying anything to him about his phone habits. Any suggestions?
– Name and address withheld
A. When he starts using his mobile, pull out your own and exclaim jollily: ‘Oh good, we’re having a break are we? What a relief!’ This should embarrass him into desisting. If it doesn’t, ask if he is finding new exercises on the phone to torment you with. Take a teasing rather than a bitter tone, and even jostle the mobile from his hands if necessary.
Q. My wife has recently given birth to our first child. We are obviously thrilled. However we have a problem: my mother. She is a retired midwife (who hasn’t practised since l974 after having children) and is very keen to give us the benefit of her experience. This isn’t always particularly welcome as she is a rather forthright character. Mary, how can we politely ask her to desist with the ‘helpful pointers’ without causing offence?
– J.D., Rogerstone, South Wales
A. This is not the time for you and your wife to assert self-sufficiency. Forthright or not, your mother must be allowed to air her views for self-validation and other reasons, to say nothing of your obeying the fifth commandment.
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