Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: is it OK for guests to steal pears at Glyndebourne?

[iStock] 
issue 24 September 2022

Q. We have been invited to a small but formal dinner in the presence of someone who has been a lifelong hero to my husband. Tragically, my husband has developed anxieties about bladder control in high-level social situations where there may be difficulty accessing a loo. Hence he wants me to refuse this prized invitation.

– Name and address withheld

A. Nurse Kate steps in to address this problem. ‘It sounds as though rather than incontinence itself, your husband has an urge/frequency problem, which could be tackled with bladder training and possibly some quite effective medication. For the purposes of his night out, I would recommend a product readily available in chemists called Tena Men Premium Fit Level 4 Pants. They come in packs of ten for around £8.25, and are essentially pull-up disposable pants with excellent super-absorbent padding.

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