Dear Mary: How do you escape from a stranger’s childhood trauma story?

Q. Recently a cousin and I gave a small drinks party in the USA. She had invited a very elegant older Hispanic woman. At the end of the party, my cousin was in a tête-à-tête with this woman on the sofa and I was left with two other (American) women at the table, one of whom was telling amusing anecdotes. I deliberately didn’t interrupt my cousin as I thought she wanted to be alone with her new friend. However later my cousin said that the woman, without any prompting, had started a long story of how she’d been abused by her stepfather as a child. My cousin was longing to get away but didn’t feel able. How could she have extricated herself?
— E.S., London W11

A. Your cousin could have almost finished whatever drink she was holding, then clumsily spilt the rest, ideally over her own tights. The mopping-up operation would have caused a distraction in the room and triggered the resumption of inclusive conversation.