Dear Mary: How do I use my newly raised profile to meet celebrities?

From Mr N.M. Gwynne

Q. Have you any suggestions on how I could milk my newly raised profile (as a bestselling author on English grammar and Latin, and a regular BBC Radio 5 broadcaster on how to speak and write English, and that sort of thing) to make the acquaintance of the kind of people whom, perhaps a little to my shame, I sometimes find myself rather longing to meet — such as Miss Kate Moss, Sir Paul McCartney, Sir Mick Jagger, and, as of the past few weeks, Mrs George Clooney?

A. As a bestselling author you should have no difficulty getting a contract to write a biography of any one of these celebrities. In the course of your research you will naturally have many intimate meetings with all the others on your list.