Dear Mary: How do I stop my husband eating everything in the fridge?

Q. A friend of a friend has an apartment in Venice. I would like to commiserate with her about the catastrophic floods when I see her shortly at a Christmas drinks party, but I don’t want to depress her by bringing this up at what’s meant to be a celebratory occasion and forcing her to think and talk about what damage must have been done to her property. Yet I can’t not mention it because that would make it seem like I think so little about her that I have forgotten she has an apartment there. What is the most tactful thing to say, Mary?
— M.W., London W11

A. You are right to be cautious. There is such a thing as the wrong sort of sympathy, the sort that strays into schadenfreude territory. So stay upbeat to prevent her from feeling like a victim. Why not gush gaily that you hear the Gritti Palace is still open for business as usual (true) and that you’d like to donate to a charity for the restoration or to fund action to stop further damage to the lagoon? Which organisation does she suggest? Don’t ask if she will have to swim there when she next visits.