Q. My wife and I live in a grace-and-favour house with beautiful gardens, of which our landlord is justly proud. He employs a full-time gardener to tend the grounds around the big house and also around our cottage. The gardener has recently developed a habit of using petrol-powered tools, such as strimmers and lawn mowers, at increasingly antisocial hours, including a recent 6.50 a.m. chainsaw attack on some dead trees. We do not pay for his services, which include not only looking after our little garden but also keeping us stocked with firewood and clearing a tennis court for our use, so we are reluctant to appear ungrateful. How can we ask him to start later, without looking this gift horse in the mouth?
– P.K., by email
A. Your mistake has been a failure to develop a rapport with the gardener. He may be responding to your lack of friendliness with ‘pass-agg’ (passive aggression). It’s not too late to start offering tea, flapjacks and chatting. Slowly warm up to requesting a later start to the machine work.
Q. I make minor but regular appearances on regional television. I am no ‘star’ but even at private events am required to pose for selfies to a problematic degree. Otherwise sophisticated, even glamorous, people seem inexplicably excited by my presence. It seems ungrateful but how can I stop this, as conversations are constantly disrupted?
– Name and address withheld
A. Many sophisticated people now want selfies with minor celebrities to post on Instagram for ironic reasons. How about walking around with a slightly grubby hanky. If you’re being pestered, wave this while saying: ‘Don’t come too close – I don’t want to give you this bug!’
Q. I chair a vetting committee for one of the big art fairs in London. One valued member, now in his early eighties, has in recent years appeared shabbier and shabbier.
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