Q. My wife and I live in a grace-and-favour house with beautiful gardens, of which our landlord is justly proud. He employs a full-time gardener to tend the grounds around the big house and also around our cottage. The gardener has recently developed a habit of using petrol-powered tools, such as strimmers and lawn mowers, at increasingly antisocial hours, including a recent 6.50 a.m. chainsaw attack on some dead trees. We do not pay for his services, which include not only looking after our little garden but also keeping us stocked with firewood and clearing a tennis court for our use, so we are reluctant to appear ungrateful. How can we ask him to start later, without looking this gift horse in the mouth?
– P.K., by email
A. Your mistake has been a failure to develop a rapport with the gardener. He may be responding to your lack of friendliness with ‘pass-agg’ (passive aggression).
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