Q. A central London bookshop has kindly invited me to be one of 30 authors signing copies of our books at its Christmas customer evening. I feel it would be rude to say no, so I’ve said yes. But I went to last year’s event at that same shop, and saw the excruciating sight of some of my favourite authors sitting alone and unvisited at their signing tables, while crowds were queueing round the shop for Gyles Brandreth. This would bring back my worst childhood nightmares of not being picked for games teams. What occupation could you recommend to pass the time as I sit there from six till eight, so I can at least ‘look busy’? I suggested taking my embroidery, but my sons say that would make me look too old.
– Y.M.G., London SW6
A. Provide champagne and invite a maximum of ten friends who live near the bookshop. In that way, even if nobody does buy a book from you, at least there will be a buzz around your table and you will achieve seeing people you have been meaning to catch up with. If you happen to be besieged by fans who want to talk to you for ten minutes at a time, then your friends can talk to each other. This would be quite a fun party for them in a centrally located venue.
Q. Regarding N.M. of Bodnant’s worry (21 October) that young people will switch place names at her daughter’s 21st birthday dinner, get the largest place cards you can find, write the intended name centrally and then add the names of the guests to either side. The neighbouring names can always be written vertically rather than horizontally. I’d suggest Smythson’s tented cards, which are folded so that they stand on the table without needing a holder (dimensions 9cm x 3.5cm).
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