Q. I am being driven to distraction by a touchy relation who has responded to the lockdown by WhatsApping me three or four times per day with a succession of YouTube and other video clips, accompanied by messages such as ‘You’ll love this!’ If only that were the case. None of the often lengthy video clips are particularly interesting or entertaining, yet I feel obliged to open them, not least because WhatsApp allows her to see whether or not I have done so. The arrival of each new message from her fills me with dread and exhaustion. How can I stop her from continuing to bombard me without hurting her feelings?
— Name and address withheld
A. She cannot tell if you have muted the clips, so why not turn these interruptions to your advantage? Press play and then mute and, while they are running, use the time to tackle a chore you have been procrastinating over. By repurposing the app into a virtual personal life coach, you will soon come to conflate the arrival of the clips with pleasure.
Q. My quality of life has plummeted since the arrival of an extra guest who has joined us for lockdown. It’s the way he eats (like a dog). He is the contemporary of my boomerang children, who just say: ‘Table manners aren’t a thing any more.’ Meanwhile, my husband says I must try not to be so sensitive, because he is our guest and we must not under any circumstances take the risk of making him feel unwelcome. I agree with this and I like the young man — until we sit down. How can I deal with this?
— Name and address withheld
A. It should be an easy matter to screen this offender off by placing a large vase of flowers between you and him at the table.
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