Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How do I avoid my friend’s gropey partner?

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issue 07 December 2024

Q. I have a dear friend who is in a newish relationship. The partner – whom I hardly know – recently visited my city, asked to stay, and groped me soon after arriving. I would like to maintain my relationship with my friend, but if I invite him for dinner he’ll ask to bring his partner, whom I don’t wish to see. Mary, is there a delicate way to handle this without causing a fuss?

— Name and address withheld

A. Tell him that you have booked a pedicure for both of you – a one-hour session where you will be seated side-by-side in the salon. This will enable you to have a proper catch-up while such things as thickening toenails are dealt with. There will be no opportunity for his new partner to muscle in.

Q. Not only is it becoming difficult to find proper Christmas cards but one has to take into consideration the cost of the card, the exorbitant price of stamps and never quite knowing if the postman actually delivers them. The animated e-cards which you can send via computer are OK occasionally for grandchildren but I find them too dumbed-down otherwise. Do you have any suggestions for how to keep in touch with people at this time of year?

— H.S., London SW11

A. It is important to send traditional cards to the elderly. They treasure them. You can still buy proper Christmas cards from the shops of art galleries, but another option is useum.org. It has a marvellous selection of artworks including nativity scenes, Madonna and child etc. These make lovely (free) e-cards which you can personalise with your own message. The company notifies you when each card has been ‘opened’.

Q.

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