Dear Mary: How do I avoid being dragged on to the dance floor?

Q. One of the most widely adored people I know is a single man in his fifties. He is brilliant and charming but neurotic about money – all our mutual friends joke about his ‘dusty wallet’. I have just heard from one of these, who had him to stay for five days after Christmas. He had invited himself but, since he arrived with some indeterminate chesty illness, their youngest son moved out of his own bedroom so this guest could have an en suite and a television in his room. The family lovingly left trays outside his door etc till he was better. No present of any kind was forthcoming. The mutual friend who was his host does not ‘need’ anything but that’s not the point. Any small thing would have done – just as a gesture of appreciation. We both feel that this time he has gone too far and that I should say something to him because he risks becoming out of touch.