Q. We went for lunch over the bank holiday with the parents of one of my son’s schoolfriends. We had hardly talked to them before this. They and their friends were perfectly nice but my problem is that the slightly pushy wife kept photographing us. I am not on social media myself and had no idea she intended to put the photos all over her Instagram. For all sorts of reasons we are unhappy about the misleading impression these photos (and their captions) give of the degree of our friendship. Is there a tactful way of asking someone you don’t know that well not to post photographs of you on their social media? I can’t think how I could have done this at the time without seeming snobbish.
– Name and address withheld
A. Smile pleasantly while the person is snapping. Then add: ‘But can I beg you not to put anything up on social media? We loved lockdown so much we hardly ever go out now. We’ve been telling our friends we are still not socialising but if anything goes up online showing us having a great time with you then we will be inundated by people insisting we see them as well.’
Q. An old schoolfriend, who has become housebound, regularly invites me to dinner which we arrange ‘without husbands’. We have always enjoyed each other’s company but she is a tiny bit bullying and tries to prevent me from leaving at a reasonable time by pleading that ‘we have so much more to talk about’. This is true but, unlike her, I have to get up at seven each morning to go to work and her pressure means I rarely get home before midnight.
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