Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How do I stop my father’s girlfriend boiling a full kettle for one cup of tea?

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issue 23 April 2022

Q. Financially successful friends have kindly invited my husband and me to stay for a week in France. Our problem is that last time we went they asked each couple to post €200 for tips through the hatch of a postbox-style container so they could share out the money appropriately after everyone had left. Named envelopes were discouraged on the grounds that ‘I trust you all’. Annoyingly, later that year, I happened to overhear my host mention that one couple (of the ten staying) had failed to contribute. Mary, how can I ensure that he knows we have paid our dues when the moment comes round again?

– J.L., Cornwall

A. Ask your host to remind you of the nearest ATM the day before you leave. Apologise for having to dart into town – double-check, was it €200? This should suffice to signal your contribution.

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