Q. How can I stop a member of the household from glutting out on the chocolate supply I have stockpiled? A glance into the larder would suggest we are more than adequately catered for in the event of a lockdown, but we are an unusually large family (which includes in-laws and staff) and while most of us are on board with an ethical siege spirit, two large bars of Fruit & Nut went missing over the weekend. You don’t have to be Agatha Christie to guess the culprit’s identity. My problem is: how can I catch him in the act? People are in and out of the larder at all times, so locking it would be impractical.
— Name and address withheld
A. First pleasantly address the household. Remind them that since you are the quartermaster, you need to keep careful records of what supplies are still available. You are aware of the addictive qualities of chocolate so anyone suffering from abnormal cravings must come to you and you will treat their case fairly.
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