Dear Mary: how can I stop guests waking too early?

Q. I meet a very old and dear friend for lunch on a regular basis. We meet at a lovely family-run Italian restaurant in Charlotte Place in Fitzrovia because it is exactly halfway between where we both live. Over the years it has become rather beyond our means but we don’t like to break with tradition. We have always taken it in turns to pay the bill, but my friend has become somewhat forgetful, and for the last three lunches has said: ‘How lovely that it’s your turn to pay.’ I realise she isn’t purposely making me pay each time, but I can ill afford the extra expense. How can I solve this without giving offence?

– R.H., London W11

A. Next time you plan to meet, say gaily that since you are currently ‘all square’, would she mind a new system – that you pay for each other? This would suit you better for boring accountancy reasons but, best of all, in this way you each retain the sense of being given a treat!

Q.