Q. A neighbour is hosting a party for his daughter’s 21st birthday. Adequate provision has been made for anyone who wants to sleep over but I won’t be taking up the option myself since I don’t drink and I can easily drive home. Unfortunately I am coming under pressure from some acquaintances at university that they should stay overnight with me. My parents would welcome them but it doesn’t make sense for me to have to round everyone up and lead them in convoy through winding roads to my house when they are all welcome to stay where they are. I have now discovered that their enthusiasm has been fuelled by the rumour that my parents’ historic house is ‘like Downton Abbey’. How can I, without seeming inhospitable, encourage these friends and friends of friends to make the sensible decision?
— Name and address withheld
A. Tell the petitioners they are welcome to stay if they can face bringing sleeping bags, pillows and hot water bottles. As they brood on the implications of this request, common sense should triumph and they will decide it is more convenient to stay where they are — especially if you compensate by offering them lunch at ‘Downton’ the day after the party.
Q. My father and stepmother take my brother and me and our step-siblings on amazing holidays, for which we are very grateful, but they turn left as we board the plane and we turn right. We don’t mind this at all, but what is annoying is that throughout the flight, one or other of them keeps walking through to the back of the plane to ask us, with concerned looks, whether we are sure we are all right. The consensus is that we were until asked this patronising question.
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