Dear Mary: how can I safeguard my feminist principles at dinner?

Q. My husband and I will shortly be having some South American friends to stay. They come most years and it’s always enjoyable to see them. Our problem is that they never divulge when they will be leaving – possibly because back home it doesn’t matter to them what time guests come and go; they lead a very different life to us, with maids and kitchen staff. For me, if they are here for an extra day it means a dash to Waitrose etc. My husband is always keen I don’t ask them outright in case it looks unwelcoming. How should I handle this? – C.N., Uppingham, Rutland

A. Subcontract this awkward question. Arrange for a compliant neighbour to drop in on the pretext of returning a borrowed book. Let her meet your guests before she dashes off. It would be only natural for her to gush how lovely it must be for them to be visiting England and enquire how long they are staying with you.