Q. As we attend socially distant events, we expect of our hosts a scrupulous accommodation of our preferences around physical interaction. What distinguishes a good guest right now is less clear For example, I know an offer to help clear the plates would be refused, and might even make other guests anxious about my getting too close. Yet remaining entirely static while the host works their magic around me does not feel right. So, Mary, how can I express my gratitude?
— C.L., Cambridge
A. Express the gratitude on arrival. Congratulate your host for having staged the much-needed social event in the first place ‘at a time when you, as host, effectively have to do double the work as none of the guests can help — for distancing reasons. I expect you would rather I didn’t even offer?’. This pre-emption will allow you to set fellow guests at their ease. ‘We feel bad letting you do all the work,’ you can remark as your host starts to fuss around you. ‘But — as you and I discussed — you would rather none of us help.’
Q. I have much enjoyed lockdown with my girlfriend who is a terrific cook. Our proximity to good walks on the South Downs means I can tuck in as much as I like with little fear of an expanding waistline. The problem I have is that my girlfriend uses every imaginable cooking utensil to rustle up her culinary delights. I am now finding myself filling and emptying the dishwasher three times a day. Each utensil has to be put back in its exact place. This may seem small beer in these trying times, but I wonder if you have any suggested shortcuts to this tiresome routine?
— P.G.Z.,
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