Dear Mary: how can I help pay for an expensive lunch without seeming rude?

Q. My husband and I (both in our eighties) recently visited a carpet shop with a view to replacing the stair carpet in our four-storey house. The salesman showed us various carpets and we discussed their relative merits. When I asked him how hard-wearing a particular carpet was, he looked at us carefully and said: ‘Well, it is not going to need to be very long-lasting is it?’ We were a bit surprised and will be taking our business elsewhere. But can you suggest how we might have been able to indicate to him politely that this particular form of words was unlikely to secure a sale?

– R.H., Cheltenham

A. You might have cried pleasantly, ‘What do you mean? We’ve just extended our lease by 20 years!’ and then stared at him enquiringly while he struggled to answer.

Q. Every year a friend invites me out to dinner on or around my birthday.