Q. My husband and I (both in our eighties) recently visited a carpet shop with a view to replacing the stair carpet in our four-storey house. The salesman showed us various carpets and we discussed their relative merits. When I asked him how hard-wearing a particular carpet was, he looked at us carefully and said: ‘Well, it is not going to need to be very long-lasting is it?’ We were a bit surprised and will be taking our business elsewhere. But can you suggest how we might have been able to indicate to him politely that this particular form of words was unlikely to secure a sale?
– R.H., Cheltenham
A. You might have cried pleasantly, ‘What do you mean? We’ve just extended our lease by 20 years!’ and then stared at him enquiringly while he struggled to answer.
Q. Every year a friend invites me out to dinner on or around my birthday. Despite falling on hard times, he insists we go to the same high-end restaurant in Mayfair as he knows it is my favourite. I know he would not hear of my going halves with him, but the restaurant has become so expensive. How can I can contribute this year without offending him?
– R.B., London NW3
A. Go on to the chosen restaurant’s website and pay for a gift voucher to the value of some of the approximate cost of the evening. Print this off. When the bill arrives, pause the waiter while you forage for this voucher as though you had just remembered that you had it, then lunge it forward and explain that another friend gave it to you and, as it’s about to expire, it must be used or it will go to waste.
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