Dear Mary: how can I find out the name of a mother at the school gates?

Q. We want to keep on good terms with a potential grandson-in-law but he does not have the right kit. This doesn’t always matter these days, but it mattered when we took him and our granddaughter to our local racecourse. He came in a suit which he boasted he had not worn since school. He was bursting out of it and the trousers were six inches too short. How, without alienating our granddaughter, can I convey that he really must buy a new suit?

– Name withheld, Newbury

A. You can make an informed calculation about what off-the-peg-sized suit would fit your potential grandson-in-law and acquire one from an outlet such as TK Maxx for around £100. Next time they come to the races, engineer that you accidentally spill, for example, the contents of a Magimix as you bumble past the seated youth. ‘Oh no! I have ruined your suit. Why not wear this one that we found upstairs which is roughly your size?’

Q.