Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How can I evade nosy questions at parties?

Plus: Handling your stylish new non-wheeled suitcase

issue 28 June 2014

Q. How, in a party context, can one avoid answering what used to be called ‘nosey’ questions without being rude? A revered friend counts among his intimates a priest who, when I met him for the first time, took me aside and posed the question, ‘Do you love your husband?’

Clearly the enquiry was benignly intentioned, but I was not seeking marital or any other sort of priestly guidance. Moreover the answer was neither yes nor no and consequently I felt obliged, as the priest beamed owlishly at me, to embark on a lengthy account of how irritating my husband (who wasn’t present) had recently been but how the bitterness would likely recede and therefore his long-term prospects as a permanent partner looked generally favourable.

How could I have avoided answering and steered the priest back to more general topics without appearing standoffish?
— Name and address withheld

A.

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