Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: how can I avoid splitting the bill?

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issue 19 March 2022

Q. These days I am on a tight budget while many of my friends are still able to spend freely. Often when I meet someone for lunch or dinner they eat and drink far more than I do (I am careful to eat only what I can afford) yet they still presume I will be up for splitting the bill down the middle. They are not doing this out of meanness – just not thinking about how broke I am compared to in the past. I live in dread of quibbling. What do you suggest?

— F.J., London SW6

A. Wait till the bill arrives, then pre-empt the presumption by pleasantly asking the waiter, ‘Oh, would you mind telling me how much I owe? That will save me the trouble of working it out for myself.’

Q. At Christmas I gave my parents-in-law a present of four very expensive tickets to go to the ballet at Sadler’s Wells.

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