Dear Mary, from Joan Collins: How do I stop fans asking for selfies in the powder room?

From Dame Joan Collins

Q. Invariably, when I escape to the ladies’ room or powder room or restroom (whatever the current politically correct term for this place is), I am asked for a ‘selfie’, and the request usually comes while I’m washing my hands or powdering my nose. What is the correct way to handle this awkward situation? My gut feeling is to say, ‘F*** off, you’re invading my space’ — but perhaps this would offend?

A. Yes it would offend, and dismay, although of course the selfie-seekers have been offensive first. They mean no harm but, because nothing panics a fan like propinquity to a star they will probably never again have such intimate access to, normal protocols go by the board. Help them to calm down by answering, ‘Yes, of course, but my agent would never forgive me if we took it (Lady Bracknell voice) in a lavatory. Will you wait for me upstairs?’ In this way you signal that, while you will comply, they must leave you alone now to complete your grooming. As for the current correct term, ‘ladies’ room’ will provoke in offence-seeking circles, while ‘restroom’ is too coy. The elegant ‘powder room’ is perfectly safe, despite its ironic hijacking by drug takers.

From Rory Stewart

Q. I am running for Mayor of London, and had hoped I could get people to focus on practical questions: do you feel safer than four years ago? Is your commute better? But many seem to think the role is largely ceremonial and it is not fair to blame the current mayor when things go wrong. And many are impressed that he stood up to Trump. So my question is, how can I persuade Trump to send rude tweets about me? (If he is really rude, I might win — and thus get the chance to improve the signalling on the Piccadilly line.