Q. My 16-year-old son, who has recently had his first experiences of Clubland, has observed to me, his mother, that men’s table manners degenerate inside men-only clubs. Is this true?
— A.D.M., London SW1
A. Allegedly so. Men seem hard-wired to let standards slip when the civilising influence of women is absent. According to the late sage Hugh Massingberd, the seating protocol of man/woman/man/woman originated in the early days of chivalry, when it was noted that a more courtly pace of consumption would characterise the round tables when knights were faced and sandwiched by females. Then as now, a courtly pace was much less disruptive to the digestive system and therefore desirable.
Q. Can it ever be permissible to withdraw an acceptance to a party? Eighteen months ago I helped a friend at university to plan her 21st, which is happening this September, but now it turns out it’s on the exact same night as the 21st of a much better friend who has only just got around to sending out his invitations.
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