Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: Do men really have worse table manners when they’re on their own?

Plus: the rules on turning down an invitation you’ve accepted, and etiquette for WhatsApp

[Getty Images/iStockphoto] 
issue 05 July 2014

Q.  My 16-year-old son, who has recently had his first experiences of Clubland, has observed to me, his mother, that men’s table manners degenerate inside men-only clubs. Is this true?
— A.D.M., London SW1

A.  Allegedly so. Men seem hard-wired to let standards slip when the civilising influence of women is absent. According to the late sage Hugh Massingberd, the seating protocol of man/woman/man/woman originated in the early days of chivalry, when it was noted that a more courtly pace of consumption would characterise the round tables when knights were faced and sandwiched by females. Then as now, a courtly pace was much less disruptive to the digestive system and therefore desirable.

Q. Can it ever be permissible to withdraw an acceptance to a party? Eighteen months ago I helped a friend at university to plan her 21st, which is happening this September, but now it turns out it’s on the exact same night as the 21st of a much better friend who has only just got around to sending out his invitations.

Get Britain's best politics newsletters

Register to get The Spectator's insight and opinion straight to your inbox. You can then read two free articles each week.

Already a subscriber? Log in

Comments

Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months

Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.

Already a subscriber? Log in