Q. I have enjoyed strained relations with my sister-in-law over many years. This Christmas she has chosen to donate her £15 gift to my 16-year-old daughter to a local charity, previously unknown to us, without any prior consultation. She has provided the charity with my daughter’s name and a message supposedly from her. My daughter is no stranger to charity-giving but would have preferred to exercise her personal choice and has been unsettled by her aunt’s dominance. My sister-in-law is a pedant with regards to manners and will expect a handwritten thank-you note. Mary, how can I proceed in this matter, which is causing anxiety to my daughter and a deep fury in me?
– Name and address withheld
A. Do not rise to this bait. It is a classic example of passive aggression by an in-law hoping to provoke an irreparable fall-out with their partner’s ‘blood family’ so they can have the partner all to themselves.
Get Britain's best politics newsletters
Register to get The Spectator's insight and opinion straight to your inbox. You can then read two free articles each week.
Already a subscriber? Log in
Comments
Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just $5 for 3 monthsAlready a subscriber? Log in