Q. A dear friend was recently introduced to a woman my wife and I dimly recall as a casual acquaintance from our children’s schooldays whom we had found rather aggressive. She asked for our telephone number, explaining what splendid friends we used to be and, unaware of our true sentiments towards this woman, our friend gave it. We ignored the message she left on our machine. Now she is pressing our friend to organise a get-together, suggesting we probably didn’t get the answer-phone message. How do we save our friend embarrassment and avoid meeting up with our one-time acquaintance?
Name and address withheld
A. Press 141 to achieve ‘number withheld’ and ring the woman from your mobile while holding your radio, set to interference, up to the receiver. Simultaneously ring the same number from your landline so that you get through to her answering machine. Thank her for her call and say enigmatically that things are ‘difficult’ but if you are less preoccupied in six months you will give her a ring.
Q. In Florence last November I bought a very attractive but slightly eccentric silk tie at some expense on a whim. However, because I nearly always spill canapés down my front, I avoided wearing it until a suitably smart occasion came along. None did, and then Christmas rolled round. I always buy a tie for my father but was unable to find anything suitable so, thinking that real generosity means giving of one’s own, gave him the still unworn tie. I know he has never worn it, and because the design is just a bit too weird, I know he never will. Is there any polite way in which I can ask for it back so that I can wear it?
M.
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in