Q. I am feeling overwhelmed by the endless stream of sponsorship requests from friends, godchildren and relations, a lot of whom could write a cheque for ten times their target total without batting an eyelid. £15 — the most I could afford given the number of these demands on my overdraft — seems stingy especially when lists of donors and donations are published on the Just Giving website for all to see. I don’t want to watch their progress online as they train for their cycle ride to Bordeaux, I just want to be able to choose my own charities to give to. Is it acceptable to ignore some of these well-intentioned but almost bullying requests?
Name and address withheld
A. It is not acceptable to ignore them but you can field them pleasantly. Even if the nominated ‘charity’ may sometimes be the funding of their own gap year, send notes congratulating the applicants on their energy and commitment. Enthuse that you too are committed to a charity — name one you genuinely do support; extol its inspiring work. You are sure they will empathise with and understand your feelings of loyalty towards this charity and why all spare financial and practical resources at your disposal must be channelled in its direction.
Q. Since we set up home in Gibraltar, my investment banker brother-in-law has decided that as one of the nouveaux pauvres he must spend more of his family holidays with us so we can sail him round the Med. He now wishes to come for several weeks a year, and is but one of an increasing number of long-lost friends who wish to drop by for a week or two. We too have become members of the nouveaux pauvres and live almost entirely on our capital.
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