Q. During a lavish lunch party last month, our host was insulting about my new boyfriend, whom I had brought along with his permission. His actual words were, ‘He’s not my particular cup of tea, darling.’ He said this privately to me, not to the whole table. At the time I laughed it off and changed the subject because I did not want to create a bad atmosphere and he, our host, was slightly drunk (but only slightly). I am a stickler for writing to thank and have picked up pen and paper many times since that day but have been unable to bring myself to present the usual fulsome compliments without including a reprimand. Therefore I have not written at all. How should I break this stalemate? I don’t want to lose my old friend. What is worse is that my boyfriend really liked him.
J.K., Dorchester
A.
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