Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 7 April 2016

Plus: pricing a holiday let from a friend; keeping shoes stylish while cooking

issue 09 April 2016

Q. What should a host do when a guest says something so embarrassing in front of the assembled company that conversation grinds to a halt? Is there a way to pretend the gaffe never happened and jump-start the chatter? A dear friend (who drinks too much) recently regaled the dinner table with some excruciating information about her marriage. Everyone was struck dumb and I could not think how to break the conversational paralysis.
—Name and address withheld

A. The expression ‘But why bring this up now?’ can often stop a self-saboteur in her tracks. If the damage has been done, however, the host’s duty is to trump the indiscretion with something more sensational. For example: ‘Well, if I can offer an indiscretion of my own — I shouldn’t be talking about this but has anyone else here heard about the Manx referendum?’ Every guest will feel compelled to contradict you. There is no Manx referendum.

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