Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 6 March 2010

Your problems solved

issue 06 March 2010

Q. A friend rings every day to talk for hours about her life. While I do not mind acting as a sounding board or counsellor, I feel the whole thing is a bit one-sided, since she almost never asks how my life is going or only in the most perfunctory way. I feel it would be better for both of us if I were able to have some equity in this relationship. How should I gently point out that it would be only polite, to say nothing of humane, for her to show some reciprocal interest in my life?

Name and address withheld

A. Withhold from her all dramatic developments in your own life for a full month. There are bound to be some. Then have a mutual friend approach her to ask for the latest news on one of these dramas. When she has to admit she knew nothing whatsoever about them, Friend Two can accuse, ‘But you talk to her for about an hour every day.

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