Q. I am trying to persuade my friends in the more fashionable areas of London that it is now not only socially acceptable but ‘all the rage’ to shop in Lidl, Asda and Netto, as opposed to Waitrose and Partridges in the King’s Road. Judging by the accents I heard on a recent trip, these shops are attracting clientele from across the social spectrum due to the credit crunch. Could you reassure those of my friends who are still wary of venturing into these splendid emporia?
N.McA., London SW1
A. Saving money has always been socially acceptable. Even during the boom years it was a form of one-upmanship to travel Economy across the Atlantic while fellow holidaymakers went Business or First. On re-meeting in Arrivals, you would wrong-foot your smugly well-rested friends by pointing out that, in exchange for no more than eight hours of discomfort, you had effectively ‘made’ a term’s prep-school fees. Equally, for the parents of young children too inexperienced to be critical, downmarket holiday camps within the M25 were as popular in the boom years as they are now. Yet time is money and if your rate was £1,500 an hour then it made sense to waste as little time as possible in, for example, activities like crossing the river to shop in order to knock £50 off your grocery bill. Today it is quite a different story and none of your friends should be wary of venturing into Lidl, Asda and Netto. Not only is it socially acceptable to be seen there, but for tumbrel pre-emption reasons, many of those readers secretly still earning £1,500 per hour consider it de rigueur.
Dear Mary writes: Warning. The next problem contains material which may revolt. Please skip it if you are of a sensitive disposition.
Q. I am faced with a very frustrating issue, and try as I may, seem totally unable to find a suitable solution. One of the two individuals with whom I share my residence, a man of much ability in the world of sports, is very apt to clean his nostrils by bare hand, in the most indiscreet way imaginable. He subsequently disposes his nasal debris on to the floor in the living room, seemingly unaware of what he is doing and that we can see what his fingers are up (to). Whereas I appreciate this puerile practice is not uncommon, it is hardly fair to engage in it in full view of other people, and seemingly as a means of relaxation. Please, Mary, suggest a course of action without my having to seem too crass.
Name and address withheld
A. A co-operative but innocent-seeming child must visit your house. When the outrage takes place he/she must ask the offender to explain why it is all right for him to do what he is doing when the child has been told it is very bad manners. Do not intervene as the man tries to explain his behaviour. Then offer to help him break the unconscious habit by shouting at him each time he does it. You should soon see an end to the nuisance.
Q. There is no mobile signal for the last 20 miles of my husband’s train journey. Therefore I often go too early to the station because he has been unable to tell me he will be late when there are the inevitable problems. What should I do, Mary?
I.S.W., Wiltshire
A. Why not subscribe to National Rail Live Departures and Arrivals? This programme can be downloaded to iPhones for a nugatory fee.
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