Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 5 October 2017

Also: colleagues who converse in a foreign tongue and we are not a hotel

issue 07 October 2017

Q. We have moved from London into a rural area where we are preparing for the first visit of a lifelong friend who has become
a self-invented countryman. I know that he will insist on foraging for mushrooms, but none of my family wants to go on kidney dialysis machines as a result of being forced to eat them. None of us (including him) are mushroom experts. Much as we love our friend, he is something of a bully. What should we do Mary?
— Name and address withheld

A. Buy in a store cupboard supply of dried chanterelles, ceps etc, and rehydrate them prior to his visit. Feign enthusiasm for making a risotto or omelette using his foraged harvest. Knock this up while his back is turned and present it as a fait accompli, after hiding his foraged mushrooms. It is only responsible to have these later authenticated by a mushroom expert so that you can alert him if you would have been in danger.

Q.

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