Q. At a drinks party I was introduced to a senior politician and found myself lost for words. I was not overawed, Mary, the problem was that although I admire the man, every gambit which went through my head seemed to be intrusive, patronising, critical, grovelling or stalker-like. I would like to be better prepared should the situation recur.
— M.W., Wilts
A. You could have taken a tip from the Queen and posed the anodyne query ‘Have you come far?’ You might even have used ‘Have you had a busy day?’ Such gambits give a politician scope to reflect on those areas of his life he can discuss without breaching security. However, it would have been more considerate on your part to explain who you are yourself. This would have given him the chance to have some welcome light relief as he discussed your life instead of his own.
Q. A junior member of my family has a crush on a young man. She invited him to stay with us for a forthcoming country event. He accepted verbally but she has heard nothing since. We all know how flakey the young are but she does not like to show her hand by chivvying him to see if he is coming or not. I feel that once we get him in through the door of our house everything will fall naturally into place but we are looking at the possibility of the boy not coming at all. What to do, Mary?
— H.W., Yorkshire
A. The boy may usually operate within the world of flakeheads but he must still be aware of the existence of a parallel world wherein adult hosts need facts and figures so they can orchestrate the maximum enjoyment for their guests.
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