Q. I love my husband but, when we go out together to parties, I often hear him saying things which both of us know are not true and which he is clearly saying just for effect or to keep the conversation moving along with no thought to the consequences of his talking such nonsense. I do not want us to turn into one of those couples who constantly contradict each other’s stories — that would be so boring. Whenever I upbraid him on the way home he always says, ‘Oh don’t worry about it. No one listens to what anyone else says at parties. Even if they did they wouldn’t have taken me seriously.’ I find it very frustrating. Any suggestions, Mary?
C.B., London SW11
A. You are not the only woman to suffer from this annoyance. Next time you hear your husband talk nonsense, sigh humorously as you say to his interlocutor ‘TOIT’. ‘TOIT? What does that mean?’ you will be asked. ‘Oh sorry, don’t you know? TOIT is wives’ code for The Opposite Is True. It’s what women say to each other at parties when they hear their husbands say things they don’t really mean.’ You will get instant support from all other women within earshot. Keep using ‘TOIT’ until your husband has learned his lesson.
Q. The council of a small charity gave, or intended to give, several presents to its honorary president on the occasion of his 90th birthday. These were to be delivered by a relative about nine months ago but no acknowledgement or thanks has ever been received. The old gentleman concerned is extremely polite and punctilious in replying to correspondence etc, and while there is no suggestion that the relative deliberately failed to make the delivery (anyway the presents were of little pecuniary value), the council members are anxious to ascertain whether the presents ever reached the intended recipient.
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