Q. How can I tell a new young colleague that he needs to wash? He and I share an office and he is exceptionally nice but the smell in our shared quarters is sickening. What do you advise?
— E.C., Oxford
A. Try this method which has resolved the same problem for others. Say to the youth, ‘I am going to ask you a question and I want you to be completely honest, even if you think it may hurt my feelings. do I smell?’ When he says no, say excitedly, ‘Phew! It’s not me then. But haven’t you noticed there is a terrible smell in our room? If it is not me then it must be you!’ Move closer to him as though to check, then recoil crying ‘it is!’ in the satisfied manner of someone who has solved a riddle rather than someone who is revolted. Immediately equalise matters by suggesting that you too sometimes have the same problem.
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