Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 30 November 2017

Also: how can I avoid endorsing an acquaintance’s book?

issue 02 December 2017

Q. We have reached the age when we are receiving invitations from our friends for Golden Wedding celebrations. All the invitations clearly state no presents please. It feels dreadful to arrive without a gift, especially as others have obviously ignored the hosts’ request and arrived with presents. What to do?
— M & D., Somerset

A. It is annoying for such hosts who quite emphatically ask for no presents. They are not being coy but, at their age, actually feel panic at the thought of new clutter coming into the house. In anticipation of being wrong-footed by fellow guests, contact the hosts before the party to say that under normal circumstances you would bring a present to add to the air of celebration, but since they have asked for none, could you take them out to lunch at some stage in the next few months instead? In this way you can outsmart the wrong-footers and rise above their smugness when you arrive empty-handed.

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