Q. My parents are giving a drinks party for me in our garden which, as all my friends know, is quite big. People also know my parents are very generous and laid back so my worry is that some if not all of the single men on the guest list will assume it is OK for them to rock up with a girl in tow. But I have too many single girls coming as it is. How, without coming over as pompous or predatory, can I tactfully ask these single men not to bring someone? Equally, without seeming desperate, how can I check they are even coming in the first place? Most of them have not bothered to answer.
— Name and address withheld
A. A few days beforehand, text these men asking them to let you know whether they can come. Say that for ‘boring security reasons’ their names must be on the door or they will not get in.
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