Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 3 August 2017

Also: how to deflect a friend’s parents’ barbed remark and hosting a large family gathering

issue 05 August 2017

Q. I’m shortly to host a very large family gathering. Everyone will be related to the same ancestor, so we will have at least one subject to talk about — but then what? We will be a disparate group, hailing from different places, professions, generations and walks of life, and with nothing much in common apart from our lineage. Most of us will not have met before. I am worried that the conversation will run dry as we cannot bang on about our ancestor for three full days.
—Name and address withheld

A. I note you live within driving distance of Bishop Auckland, so during August you can give your extended family another shared conversational reference. Take them on the night of their arrival, to see the (by common consensus) flabbergasting night show Kynren, in which a cast of 500 volunteers perform a re-enactment of 2,000 years of English history. This is staged by Eleven Arches, the vision of philanthropist Jonathan Ruffer, who aims to establish Bishop Auckland as a tourist destination, attracting visitors and investment for the betterment of the area and the empowerment of the community. The mindboggling special effects include a full-scale Viking ship suddenly emerging out of a lake fully equipped with Vikings. To imagine the scale, think the Olympic Games opening ceremony. Watching this spectacle together will give your guests a strong sense of emotional as well as historical bonding. See elevenarches.org for details.

Q. During pre-dinner drinks at a friend’s 21st in Scotland recently, I went up to my friend’s parents and said: ‘This looks fantastic!’ They replied: ‘Thank you but I don’t suppose it will be as good as yours was!’ They said it jokingly but I wasn’t sure how to respond.

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